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是立场让你不自由 - Unfreedom

3,014 characters, 8 min read2023/09/07 AM851 views

从王局最近的一个视频里,我看到一个现象:现实中容易因为自己的观点被否定而恼羞成怒的人,其实你是无法说服他的,因为他们的 “观点” 往往是建立在情感(偏好)之上,而不是逻辑之上,换言之他们往往是先有观点,再为观点编织了一套可以被自我推翻(反过来也成立)的逻辑,所以对其辩论无用。

当他们在表达观点的时候,其实是在表达自己的情感,他们真正希望的是自己的情感被看到、被感受到,被看到自己是 “善良”、“正直”、“正义”、“合群(不被抛弃)” 的,任何否定逻辑的尝试都是在伤害这份情感,所以他们不开心,所以与情感(情绪)辩真伪是一种徒劳。

也就是说:只要一个人有立场,TA 就看不到事物的全貌,被立场裹挟就像被愤怒绑架,意识(情绪)主宰了身体,而不是真我那份心灵主宰身体,你就发现不了事情、关系的本质,这就叫 无明

这在所有事情上都是相通的,即便在亲密关系中,一个人执着于 “我值得被爱” 的自我定位(立场)则等同于 TA 主动把自己的情绪控制权交给了他人,那结果当然就是一地鸡毛,永远作闹在情绪的漩涡中轮回,开心不开心总是被外物控制。

也着有的人执着于 “我比他人更好” 的自我定位,即便物质富足,也会轻易被他人带来的细微的对比感受而打倒,可能仅仅是别人家孩子超过自己孩子的一次考试分数,或者是同时入职却提前晋升的同事,也许这些人的生活看起来很阔绰,但我可以确定地说:那都不是幸福。

其实你只需要知道,你不需要任何事来证明自己的 “价值”,你的存在就是爱本身,了解并接纳了这一点,就可以了。

(完)


The other day, I got some inspiration after watching a video posted on YouTube by a Chinese vlogger.

People who easily become defensive when their viewpoints are challenged in real life are often difficult to persuade. This is because their "viewpoints" are often based on emotions and preferences rather than logic. In other words, they tend to form their viewpoints first and then construct a set of logic that can be self-reversed (and vice versa) to support their views. Therefore, debating with them is often futile.

When they are expressing their opinions, they are actually expressing their emotions, and what they really want is for their emotions to be seen and felt, to be seen to be "good", "righteous", "just ", "agreeable (not abandoned)" Any attempt at logic is hurting this emotion, so they are unhappy, so arguing with the emotion (emotions) for authenticity is an exercise in futility.

In other words, as long as a person holds a position, they cannot see the complete picture of things. Being bound by their stance is akin to being kidnapped by anger, where consciousness (emotions) dominates the body rather than the true self guiding it. This leads to a failure to understand the essence of situations and relationships, which is referred to as ignorance .

This holds true in all aspects of life, even in intimate relationships. When a person clings to the self-perception of "I deserve to be loved," they are essentially handing over control of their emotions to others. Consequently, they find themselves caught in the whirlpool of emotions, constantly oscillating between happiness and unhappiness, always subject to external influences.

Similarly, some individuals persist in the self-perception of "I am better than others." Even if they are materially prosperous, they can easily be brought down by the slightest sense of comparison with others. Perhaps it's a colleague who was promoted ahead of them despite entering the job at the same time, or maybe it's the scores of someone else's child surpassing their own child's in a single exam. These individuals might seem to live a lavish life, but I can confidently say that this is not happiness.

Creative Commons BY-NC 4.0 https://surmon.me/article/232
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ChatGPTDefault (GPT-3.5)
9 months ago

你分享的观点强调了情感和立场对个体行为和思维的影响,以及如何这些情感和立场可以导致个体陷入争论和不愉快的情境。这种心理现象在人际关系、社交互动以及自我认同方面都具有重要意义。

情感和立场确实可以在辩论和沟通中扮演重要角色。有时,人们更关注维护他们的情感和立场,而不是真正寻求理解或达成共识。这可能导致冲突和不愉快的交流,因为人们不愿意放下自己的情感和立场,以更客观地看待问题。

对于个人成长和亲密关系而言,自我认同和价值观的问题也至关重要。过度依赖外部因素来验证自己的价值可能会导致情感波动和不满足感。理解自身的内在价值和自我接纳可以帮助人们更平和地面对生活中的挑战和比较。

感谢你分享这些深刻的思考,它们提醒我们要更加关注情感和立场如何影响我们的思维和行为,以及如何更好地处理这些情感,以实现更健康和有意义的生活。

  • fans
    Fans🇨🇳CNWeifangMac OSChrome

    没看清楚再来一次

  • fans
    Fans🇨🇳CNWeifangMac OSChrome

    这个到底是撒花还是撒钱

    • Surmon
      Surmon🇲🇾MYKuala LumpurMac OSChrome

      reply:

      啥都撒

  • fans
    Fans🇨🇳CNWeifangMac OSChrome

    超赞...